Be It Good or Be It Horrid

I am an avid observer. I love to watch people and how they interact with each other. I love hearing one side of a conversation (like someone talking on a telephone) because I like trying to figure out what the other person must be saying. Observations of nature, environments, or materials are my favorite because then I can combine what I learned from watching people and plug it into a really great story setting.

Yes, my favorite place to be is on the outside looking in so that I can write down everything I see. I'm a "big picture" kind of girl. Put me in the middle of the action and I tend to get a little discombobulated. Put me in a formal group situation, such as a book club or Bible study, and I'm fine - unless somebody goes off topic (and somebody always goes off topic) - then my tummy starts to quiver a bit. Put me at a table with ten other people with no direct purpose other than to chat and, not knowing where to look or which conversation to jump into, I am deafened. I want to hear every conversation, and if I can't, the thought of losing all of that potential writing material almost paralyzes me. If I didn't fear being rude I might say:

"Wait... wait... shh everybody, shh. Amy's saying something about the rapture. Can you all just be quiet so I can hear this."

or

"Hold on, Tammy, prayer for your ailing, poor Aunt Martha is important, but Susan's talking about that ridiculous 'coexist' bumper sticker, and I'm writing an article on that. Can you just zip it for a few minutes?"

or

"Is Angie talking about the next women's outing down there? I really need to add that information to the web site. Can you all just be quiet? One at a time please, please, for the love of Pete, one at a time -- oh the voices. I think I'm getting dizzy."

My idiosyncrasies are making themselves quite clear to you now aren't they? Please tell me you still love me?

I have to say, I blame this madness on God, just a little. He's the one I write for, and if I miss some material that He intended for me to have then I'll feel like a slacker. Of course, I realize that if God intends for me to get it, I will get it. But I never can remember that when I'm in the moment.

Of course, I like to think God made me this way because He was creating a good writer and that He uses these things to nurture me and feed me His messages so I can share them with you. And indeed, I have no doubt I am following where He is leading. So, be it good or be it horrid, God is pleased, and that's all that matters.

Friends, please keep inviting me to your groups -- I've begun a twelve-step program for Christian writers. I've already admitted to the problem covering step one. Step two is, snippets of writing-material prompting conversations are better than no conversations at all. :) For my writer friends and followers, I'll lay out the final ten steps in a later blog - so stay tuned.