Recent Posts

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm An Augustus Gloop

I ate a chocolate bunny yesterday - no, not the ears... no, not the ears and the head... no, not even the ears, head, and upper body. No Siree - I ate the entire chocolate bunny. And to make matters worse, it wasn't hollow. It was a big, solid, bunny-shaped brick of chocolate. Wait... I'm not done; I also had a handful of solid chocolate eggs. I didn't have it all in one sitting - you couldn't possibly think I am that big of a glutton (okay, maybe it's conceivable for those of you who know how much I love chocolate) - but I did actually pace myself throughout the day. Granted it was Easter and we wouldn't normally have this much chocolate in the house, but we just returned from vacation where I also indulged in a number of yummy chocolate treats. And it wasn't the smooth, dark stuff that actually has a smidgen of nurtritional value (which I have no problem meeting and exceeding my daily allowance of) - it was the creamy, milky stuff that immediately sticks to the parts of my body that still carries the chocolate I ate five years ago.

Today I decided I should start training for a marathon to work off the damage I've done. So, I headed to the rec center. Thirty minutes later I left the rec center thinking, maybe a 5K will do it. There's no need to go overboard with the whole marathon thing - what was I thinking. Whatever happens, I'm determined to get myself back into my pre-candy season shape. You know... that season that starts just around Valetines Day and lasts until Easter. I'm seriously so worried about fitting into my shorts, I haven't even pulled them out yet. And I won't even mention swimsuits.

I'm usually a fairly healthy person, and all of this chocolate and candy indulgence and lack of exercise has zapped my energy and mental stability. So I've been talking to God about my problem. I asked Him what I needed to do to regain my energy so I could best serve Him - all the while hoping He wouldn't say, "exercise," "fast," or "give up chocolate." Of course my God has a great sense of humor so He said all three. It's not the exercising and fasting that bother me, but come on... give up chocolate. Like, GIVE IT UP. Granted, if I didn't have the first piece of chocolate, I wouldn't want the next fifty, but giving it up seems rather harsh. Although I have to admit, following my recent chocolate frenzy, I'm feeling a really close connection to Augustus Gloop from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Remember him?...the gluttonous boy who couldn't stop eating chocolate and eventually fell into the chocolate river and was sucked into the pipe. Oh yeah - that is so me right now. Maybe that marathon would be a better idea (she says, rubbing her chocolate distended belly).

Okay, so reinstate exercise routine, regular fasting, AND no chocolate. I'm on it, God. Gotta go friends - I have a marathon to train for. Wait, it's midnight. All good things start with a good night's sleep... right?

By the way, to which Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory character do you most relate? Take my survey on my side bar. - this poll is now expired


  1. Sue said...

    Too funny Karen... and hope you're able to keep up with the training and lack of chocolate ;-)

    I think I'm a Mike Teavee... that would be the one thing God is saying NO to... my TV addiction. Fortunately, I've weaned myself down to only a few shows... but I'm sure once that has been weaned out, the computer/internet will be next!

    God bless ;-)

  2. Karen said...

    Two days and counting so far. :)

  3. Michael Aldridge said...

    I'm a Mike Teavee... with my technology job and my technology hobby, it's sorta hard to NOT be him!