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Friday, August 13, 2010

The Pick-up Line (RVFF #9)

What is Random Vocabulary Flash Fiction (RVFF)? I blindly select a vocabulary word from Word Smart, and write a flash fiction story using that word. Flash fiction basically means it's short - you can read it in a flash. Click here to read my rules.

Today's word: Hackneyed (HAK need) - 1. overused 2. trite 3. stale / I used definition #2 for this story

The Pick-up Line (RVFF #9)

“I think there’s somethin’ wrong with my eyes ‘cuz I can’t take them off you.”

Harriett cringed at the drunken man’s hackneyed greeting. “ I’m married.”

“Me, too. Jus’ not when I’m on the road - know what I mean?” The man grinned and caressed her arm.

She yanked her arm away and peered around the hotel lobby. “I’m not interested!” She returned to her reading.

“What’re ya readin’?”

Harriett held her book up.

“Uh… hell, my eyes ain’t that good. What…”

“Mere Christianity.”

“Oh! You a Christian?”


“Me, too. Jus’ not when I’m on the road – know what I mean?” The man howled. “Let’s have some fun – jus’ for one night?”

Harriett shook her head.

The man cursed and stumbled toward the hotel bar.

Harriett watched him approach another woman.

“Hi, beautiful,” he touched the woman's arm. “Did ya get that bruise when ya fell from Heaven?”

Word count = 149


  1. warrenjc said...

    Your short fiction is a great idea Karen, perfect for blogging esp when a lesson is given. That guy sounded like a Sunday morning Christian. It is appalling that some Christians are like that. It really presents a bad witness eh!?

    Maybe a lot of who and what we are is commensurate in how we were brought up. Not always but a lot of the times huh. Its all in the armor and casting down imaginations eh!?

    Good job Karen. Love your idea. Plus its good writing practice huh.